Domestic Violence

Across cultures and religions

Christianity

Christians view all inter-relational conflict and abuse as sin. After the model of Jesus, Christians are called to "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Mk 12:31). Particularly in the marital relationship, christians are to model the love of God (Eph 5:25, 5:29, 5:33); "For no man ever hates his own flesh, but he loves and cherishes it", and "let the wife respect her husband". Abuse by either gender is condemned by the christian scriptures. Relational offenses are to be resolved by the scriptural guidelines given in Mt 18:15-17,1Cor6:1-7 by confronting the person individually first then by the church. The church has a responsibility to protect those who are victims of violence. Christians who persist in abuse and fail to demonstrate love in their relationships risk censure by the community of faith (Mt 18:17).

Islam

Sheikh Muhammad Kamal Mustafa, imam of the mosque of the city of Fuengirola, Costa del Sol, Spain, in his book The Woman in Islam writes, of the status of violence against wives on the part of husbands in Islamic Sharia law, stating that it is permissible in some instances.

The wife-beating must never be in exaggerated, blind anger, in order to avoid serious harm [to the woman]." He adds, "It is forbidden to beat her on the sensitive parts of her body, such as the face, breast, abdomen, and head. Instead, she should be beaten on the arms and legs," using a "rod that must not be stiff, but slim and lightweight so that no wounds, scars, or bruises are caused." Similarly, "[the blows] must not be hard."
Mustafa noted in his book that the aim of the beating was to cause the woman to feel some emotional pain, without humiliating her or harming her physically. According to him, physical blows must be the last resort to which a husband turns in punishing his wife, and is, according to the Qur'an (Chapter 4, Verse 34), the husband's third step when the wife is rebellious: First, he must reprimand her, without anger. Next, he must distance her from the conjugal bed. Only if these two methods fail should the husband turn to beating.

Sheikh Yousef Qaradhawi, head of the European Council for Fatwa and Research, has advocated "non-painful" beating of wives: "it is permissible for [the husband] to beat her lightly with his hands, avoiding her face and other sensitive parts. In no case should he resort to using a stick or any other instrument that might cause pain and injury."

Dr. Muhammad Al-Hajj, lecturer on Islamic faith at the University of Jordan (Amman) states:

Hard beatings are those that leave marks on the body or on the face. Thus, beating on the face is prohibited, because the face is a combination of the features of beauty, as it is said. It is forbidden to beat the face, it is forbidden to administer blows that leave fractures or wounds; this is what our sages have said in their books.
While some Muslims interpret the Qur'an to allow the beating of wives, many other Muslims interpret the scripture to say "leave" the wife, not beat her.

Accepted behavior

In many rural areas in developing countries, beating is considered accepted behavior for a man, in order to "teach" his wife to be obedient. Men who suspect their wives of adultery have often "executed" their wives by decapitation. An example of such a region is Iran, in which it is perfectly legal for a man to kill his wife if he finds her cheating.